Grunge Gamer

Yo!  So I was playin ball with my olda brothas when this freakin demo comes chargin into the field.  The guy was all ova' the place!  Wicked drunk!  You'd think the staggerin cyclops would be easy to drag off the field, but he starts 'targin' all around and I have trouble gettin a hold of him!  Eventually he charged himself right into the swing of my Sandman, but that's besides the point. 

It got me thinkin.  What's up with all the speed buffs from Mann Co. lately?  Equalizer, Eyelander, Pain Train, Targe...  What the heck is all this crap?!  When I enlisted, my employer told me it was my duty to provide one unique skill to the team...  The same ability I honed right here on the streets of the roughest town in the world.  Speed. 

Most of us have a routine.  In the late afternoon I work out.  Then I get a shower.  And I shave.... using Steam's razor sharp user interface to do the job.  Its precise steel colored edges are better than BIC and get closer than Gillette.  I mean, the Steam UI is SHARP!  The recent changes aren't all bad, but they've definately softened a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I still love it, but why does everything in the online world become softer, rounder, and more bubbly? 

I got home from work last Friday with every intention of trying APB when the servers went live.  The clock hit 8:30 pm, it had slipped my mind that the server went live at 7:00 pm and I had to watch Caprica on SyFy at 9, so that didn’t give me much time.  I go to my computer and ran the game (that took forever to download in their shitty downloader), login, and bam some bullshit about my account being blocked.  For those of you that missed it, I announced on Thursday that I had been invited to join the closed beta for APB.  (Click here if you want to check it out).

With all of these games coming out on every platform these days, I thought I would be able to find some more information about this topic.  A Wikipedia page or at the least a heated forum discussion ending in an argument about the awesomeness of Runescape.  I can’t find a damn thing even mentioning something that touches cross platform licensing for games.  Maybe I’m not searching for the right topics, or maybe this concept is newer than I thought, but probably not. I mean, I’m just some random internet blog rambling douche bag.

We've all played with them. They exist out there and there's nothing that can be done to stop them. Some are funny, some are tragic and then there are those that make you sad to know that we share a gene pool. Grunge Gamer presents part one of the most loathsome multiplayer gamers.

Okay, to some extent the title is misleading and a lie. Actually, your review can matter, but for the most part, the majority of people who sit down and write these reviews are biased in one form or another.

'Oh no, D!' you say to me. 'I'm very open minded about my games!'

Yes, well Confucious said that 'If a mind is too open, everything falls out.' This is exactly the problem we're facing in gaming nowadays. People are open minded, liberal and will take ANYTHING the industry gives them.

I digress. Back to the original topic...

I don’t know if it’s the servers I play on or what, but it looks to me that 90% of the people playing tf2 are playing for their individual scores.  Maybe it’s because I play mostly on pubs because I don’t really feel like joining a clan.  Some of us actually want to win the game and it makes me want to jam rusty Phillips head screw drivers into my eyeballs when someone is only playing for themselves.

Just last weekend I was dead and in spec mode watching a demo-man standing next to the payload on Gold rush shooting out his little bombs at some sniper sitting up in the sniper nest, not killing him of course.  Mean while 2 scouts and a medic pushed the cart right past this retard to win the game.  All he had to do was turn around and bomb the cart so I could respawn and actually help out the team to WIN THE GAME.  That’s what it’s about isn’t it? Winning the game? You’d think it was, but apparently not.

(Continued from Part 2: Where's my next MMO: The Teet of WoW)

So what does the future hold for us mmorpg fans? I see Aion on the horizon which appears to be gaining a ton of attention, and a few others that might be what I’m looking for... but probably not. We need something ground breaking for the genre, something to change the way people are currently developing mmo’s. Something new and original, something we’ve never seen before. Games like this don’t come around too often, but they do exist, and it’s about time we see a game like this make an appearance in the mmo genre.

(Continued from Part 1: Where's my next MMO: The Begining) 
Oh and what a sweet teet it was. I remember running around in the Elwynn Forest as a noob just being amazed at how it blew away all those free Korean mmorpg’s. My char was a human paladin, which at the time wasn’t a terrible character to roll. As I progressed through the game, I began to realize that WoW is an extremely easy game to play. Pretty much anyone could just pick it up and start playing with little knowledge of mmo’s. When I got to lvl 60, I raided, I worked on my mining and blacksmithing skills so I could craft some sweet weapons and armor. WoW had so much to offer an mmo noob like me, and I suckled the crap out it. I worked hard for that purple epic gear and like a no wiper crap, I loved every minute of it.