I never anticipated sinking low enough to jump into the gender war between idiot female gamers and prepubescent man-children, but so help me God, when one encounters this shit enough times, biting ones tongue becomes harder than standing on a block of ice with broken feet and crutches while fighting sexually frustrated grizzly bears. These are the 5 unfailing phenomena, one of which I encounter at least once (If I'm lucky) for every 3 hours that I play a MMORPG or my beloved Team Fortress 2.
1. The Idiot Girl 'Trickle-Down' Theory
So I'm in game, enjoying myself, when another fallacy appears in the flesh: Another female player. Only, she must be the new and improved version, because she talks without the need to breathe. In fact, she narrates everything she's doing, screams and squeals when someone frags her, and makes communication impossible between team mates. But don't dog on her, because she's a gamer! She plays games on her cellphone and she once played Mario Party at a friend's house, so yes, she knows how to game!!!111!!1 <3<3 <---As if this isn't bad enough, then the other men-folk on the team start to /rage on me. I could join a new game or take a break and go see whats cookin on the Forums, but there's a 99% chance the people there have already been poisoned and wounded by one of these bobble-heads and will unleash unholy wrath on me for it! Look ladies, I'm thankful and proud to live in a country where we have the right to do the things we can do. But if you're going to game, know your shit, or shut up until you do. And the rest of you cock-gobblers stop judging every female voice based on previously encountered bitchery.
2. The Phenomenon of Overcompensation
This is when someone notices a female is playing and suddenly grows hair on his chest, pops a boner, and can't STFU about it. Otherwise serious players become verbose; Vegan players start chewing beef jerky and can't stop themselves from instigating viscious cock fights. This is the player that suddenly starts talking smack and giving orders, casually slipping in a line to the lady here and there when it seems natural. "Heavy Medic commin' in from behind, someone stand on the cart... ...Lady come with me." Should another male suggest a differing course of action, the name calling begins. Sometimes its just that the questions don't end, like a boy reading his first dirty magazine, he just can't get over it... "What other games do you play? Do you play other classes? Wow I can't believe you actually like to play! Boy I wish my girlfriend played! Cause I totally have a girlfriend." This is at least civil so I'm thankful for that, but damn, ask questions through Steam, don't mic spam. Other times, should I be topping the chart while ALL TALK is enabled, we get the fabled "OMG glad you guys have a GIRL on your team to win the match for you, have to have the GIRL do it." Damn. And then there's the smack talking, "Get in the kitchen woman! Girls don't play games!" Its funny and sometimes I even have to chuckle; Go ahead, test me out, flex your muscle, try to set me off and build up your esteem by interacting with a girl...but FFS. Its not like I ever enter a server and think "OMG IM TALKIN WITH CAWKS!! <3 !!!11!111"
3. The Occurance of an Un-natural Hatred toward Women
This is the harmful version of Phenomenon 2. This is when your presence as 'female' is a trigger for rage rather than amusement and interest. This is when the moment I announce a sentry ahead, three or four people spam the mic with hate. "SHUT UP! WTF are you doing on here? LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! Why do girls even try to play? You stupid bitch!" This extends into Forums as well. One post and I have 2 people replying within 10 minutes. "Just because you have tits doesn't mean we give a fuck what you say!!" Thankfully, enough decent menfolk posted seriously and the thread scored over 5000 hits and was well active over 22 days later... Some even went out of their way to lash back at the vag-haters, and you better believe how much I appreciate that. But seriously. What's with the hate? I'm not talking teasing, I'm talking downright rage. What's the issue? I thought guys kinda liked girls who could game. Anymore, I feel like a racist trying to sneak into a hugging party! If someone doesn't know what the hell they're doing or talking about, friggin teach them. If they're being an asshat, go ahead and give em rage. But damn. If I know what I'm talking about and people are actively participating in a thread, or if I'm at the top of the chart in the damn game, then STFU! Scoring MVP consencutively for my team seems to only reward me with, "OOO you stupid cunt you think you're special?" No, asshole. I think you're jealous because apparently where you come from women don't shave and I just stomped your goofy ass with my smooth tits!
4. The Echo Effect
The following conversation explains the Echo Effect: I'm playing TF2. I'm playing as the Scout. Yes I will play other classes, but we have enough medics and so I'm playing my beloved scout. I scout ahead and see that there is a level 2 sentry in the attic on the right. I speak into the mic. "LVL2 sentry ahead, in the attic, right side." There is a dramatic pause in which game play continues but no one says a word. Then, someone dies to the sentry, and a male voice says, "LVL2 sentry ahead, in the attic, right side." To which another male voice immediately responds, "Okay man, I got it." Well maybe there's something wrong with your mic, you say? I speak again and ask, "Can you guys hear me?" Someone says, "Yeah, you're good." I cannot express how often this happens to me. This probably happens 85% of the time. I say, "Demo on the roof!" There is a pause. Then someone else says, "Demo on the roof!" And there is an immediate response of "Alright," or some affirmation or game plan. Does the female voice cause the male mind to blank out for a second? Is that it? Do they think I'm lying?! Do they think I'm 'just kidding' about the sentries or the roof camping demos and soldiers? Really, what's the damn problem? The worst is when there's a spy! I see a spy change into a pyro and I start booking across the field, "Spy pyro! ...Spy pyro! ...Medic behind you, spy pyro!!!" BACKSTAB! Oh well. Maybe I need to change my name to "Cockmaster John" or "Scrottie McBigDick" and speak as deeply as I can. I've tried to claim I was a young boy, but they never believe me.
5. The Gender Kick
This one speaks for itself. I join a game. An Admin is being cranky because he has sand in his vag. He is giving himself console cheats and talking all loads of smack toward everyone, but eventually we gang up and pwn him. I make the mistake of speaking into the mic. Someone ELSE points out that a girl just pwned him. I get kicked. Yup. Nice.
....My God I love Team Fortress 2. :3
I'm definitely a guy and I get the same echo effect. I think they hear you the first time, but it takes the second confirmation before somebody is like "yeah, we heard". So not totally due to your ovaries.
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Yes Radimus, and that is why I die laughing everytime I say "Sentry Ahead" and one of you sorely damaged men who has tuned out anything non-baritone runs ahead and gets mowed down.
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I think the echo effect is the course of years of evolution. As a gentleman gamer I can vouch to say we've learned a defense mechanism to help us play videogames. You see, while we were busy playing Megaman trying to defeat the 8 robot masters, our mothers or girlfriends would come in and start complaining about something, maybe taking out the trash or cleaning something up, so out of necessity we had to learn to drown such things out. Now this is just a theory but maybe the echo effect occurs because we're just used to tuning out higher octave noises and voices. I know when I hear a 12 year old boy on a mic I tune him out because he rarely has something that isn't insulting to say, let alone constructive.
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I agree with pretty much every statement made. Considering I've been in game "with" LadyScattergun and we tend to get the echo thing twice... lmao I actually had a 15 year old boy that was getting REALLY harrassed on my team once that asked me to step in and "help" him. I did and put the bastard in his place... then another "uber" player logged and said I was a B****. Umm... they just assumed I was to blame cause I was the chic. Go friggen figure. Got kicked from Server after that ;) Score.
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Great article! It is totally true as well. I have seen everyone of those things happen. All you girl gamers out there keep gameing. 98% of the males in this world cant stand getting shown up by a girl in anything. But, maybe they are better than you, and if so who cares. You life is not ending if they kick your ass. Suck it up and deal with it. Say good game and try to get them the next round.
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I got a real bad gender kick once- I backstabbed admin as spy, and then he brought up a kick window that said "Rape (my name)? VOTE YES OR NO"
It was pretty tacky, and the vote was yes, and I got kicked from server. Meh. At least the spy is a gentleman.
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I'm really glad so many of you got a laugh out of it. And you ladies are right. Hang in there and you'll find a niche of decent people to play with. Honestly, I've heard the men-folk be just as cruel to their own gender at times. Tsk Tsk. Someone needs a spankin'.
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Nice, i used to play in BF2 clan and my team was really super, but sometimes we would run into other clans with guys who tried to attack me, however my guys would never let it keep going, neither would i. Later i played a lot of COD4 and 5, mostly have a positive reaction if they find out i'm a girl. TF seems a lot tougher in that way actually. :) But in real life i agree with being the woman who says something, the guys are afraid to react, but when a guy says something they all are into it. Working in a male dominated business can be tough and you really have to prove yourself to get their respect. Anyway, thanks for a good article!
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"Scrottie McBigDick"
You are awesome, that is going to be my first AND second born's name.
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I don't see so much of this behavior in wow... Have had a couple over the years try to whisper me when they find out I'm female, but when they find out I'm an old lady and VERY married... it stops. But I agree, women seem to be some major issue in video games, especially if they're good at a male dominated game. Like women can't operate a pc as well as men?
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I think alot of ...pre-teens with rage issues, or people who never got over them, let off on the ladies cause they are afraid of doing it to a dude. I think most of them are scrawny, fat, or friendless. It's hard to be that much of an @$$hole, even over the internet and not play the part IRL. Nobody likes @$$hats, so feel free to tell em to STFU. Rest of server is likely to have your back! Sucks that some people insist on making the game environment so nastey for ladies.
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