Sorry for the lull everybody, winter breaks are productivity killers. Without further delay, we present the final list of gamers we love to hate.
The Team Killer - Don't get in the way of my crosshair.
There are only a few games that will enforce the friendly fire rule and if you're unlucky enough to jump onto a FF server without knowing, watch out. FF does add to the realism of a game, but if you play with the TKer, realism is bullshit. The TKer is an agitator, plain and simple. There may be some moments where you're caught up in a tense match and accidentally shoot the first thing that crosses your path. This innocuous scenario is not the goal of Mr. TK; he'll line you up and take you out from the start. It's one thing to get killed by the opposing team, it's another not to even get that chance. The TKer will usually get about 3 or 4 mates before he's finally taken down, leaving you decimated for the round at hand.
The Cheeser - It's in the game, I'll use what I want.
AWP, Noob Tube (shotty or grenade launcher), Auto-Sniper, Model 1887s. There's an unwritten law in most multiplayer games that we all adhere to. Don't snipe using the AWP or Auto-Sniper is CS. Don't use the Grenade Launchers and Models in MW2. Ridiculously imbalanced weapons that make a seemingly good match get out of hand in a hurry. The argument always exists that you could just use the same thing, but gamers are sticklers for honor, at least in most cases. Leave these weapons where they belong and use something that actually challenges your skill and doesn't reward your inability to play well.
Mr. Beginner's Luck - Wow, I can't believe I just did that.
This player always seems to pick the worst weapons in a game, sits in the most horrid camping locations and will have a ratio so bad, even Hitler would feel sorry for him. It always works in the way that you're having the most perfect match of your life and bam, picked off from a shotgun at 300 yards on a dead sprint. We all get lucky playing games from time to time, but come on guy, learn how to play like the rest of us.
The Quitter - Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Call of Duty 4 was full of this horrendous gamer. The other team goes down by a lot, players on the losing side getting killed left and right. Thinking you're going to get a huge win and big score bonus, you get excited lining up what should be the last kill, only to have the dreaded "Connection Interrupted" flash across your screen. Take your beating like a man Quitter and quit bitching. We all have bad rounds, just deal with it.
The Purist - Quit camping you fags, that's not what happens in real life.
Not to be confused with the puritan, the purist is nothing but a glorified referee. Break his rules and feel his wrath. He takes a page from the strategist's book in trying to direct everybody and telling them they're all using the wrong class. He'll let you know that no team needs snipers. Ever. Sniping is for bitches. What's that? You stole his kill? He knew that guy was there and he was just reloading and plotting his course of attack. Why would you do such a thing? And you killed him with THAT gun? Come on, there's no way that gun has that much power in the real world, it would take more than 5 shots to the chest to kill somebody. You should have used his loadout, it would have worked much quicker, and did I meantion the kill was his.
The Kill Stealer - Sorry, didn't see you shooting at him.
You just emptied half a clip into an enemy, only to see a teammate pop up and finish him off. Friendships have been lost over kill stealing. Please folks, respect the sanctity of a well earned kill.
The Tranny - I swear, I'm 14/F/PA.
Usually a 33 year old man living in his parent's basement, the tranny will try to convince you he's a she. Almost always found online in an MMO, the tranny has multiple pictures of the same young girl that he tries to pass himself off as. Contrary to popular belief, girls do play games online. Just make sure you hear that voice while you're playing to be convinced. Don't buy what the tranny is selling for a second, if they'll do nothing but type, it's a dude. Realistically speaking, how many women do you know that just throw it around? Exactly.
And so ends another thrilling read of gamers we love to hate. Obviously there are more types out there we may have missed. Let us know who and some of your horror stories.
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